The Pranksters
by GWTWTNME
Summary: Emmett is sick of his boring family, so he invites his partner in crime over to prank the Cullen family. Not only does Emmett have one new friend, but she got the wolves to join them, so its the pack, Emmett, and his BFF vs The Cullens in the ultimate war
1. Chapter 1: The War Begins

_I feel the need to write about Twilight since the 2__nd__ movie is gonna be out soon, so here goes; a random story._

I love my family, but sometimes they can be a little boring. Edward was exciting once, but then he met Bella and turned into a lovesick sap. Not that I don't like Bella; she's the best thing that's ever happened to my brother, and it's a lot of fun to tease her. I just wish she'd give Edward his balls back.

"I heard that!" Edward shouted from his room, and I knew the comment was directed at me.

"Don't care!" I replied, mentally sticking my tongue out at him. Anyway, as I was saying…

Jasper is still pretty fun to goof off with, but his frequent dress up times with Alice have cut into prank time, and I'm just not willing to have a partner in crime with prior engagements.

Rosalie… ah, Rosalie. What a beautiful woman. She makes my heart tremble. But don't tell anyone, because no one would ever let me live that down. As much as I may love her, however, she's too serious, and sometimes makes fun of my "little-boy antics." Like a little boy could spice up her love life the way I do!

Esme is my mother, so of course she would never help me in my pranks against her other children; the same goes for Carlisle. I think sometimes he wants to help, but Mom gives him _that_ look, and his whipped self goes trotting off after her.

"I'm _sooo_ telling Dad you thought that!" Edward said, sticking his head in my bedroom door. Before he could go anywhere, however, his face froze into an expression of immense surprise.

"What the…" he began, but was interrupted.

"Don't move and I'll tell you where your precious Bella is." I heard a woman's voice say. I grinned happily when I recognized who it was.

"G!" I hollered, jumping up and running out the door. There she was, pinning Edward's arms behind his back, grinning smugly. Her golden eyes sparkled at me.

"How's it going, Em?" She asked, flipping her short red hair with one hand, the other keeping Edward's arms held tight together.

"Do you know this psychotic girl?" Edward questioned angrily.

"Well _excuse_ me!" G said, kneeing Edward irritably. Edward cursed and rolled his eyes at me.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know this wonderful, awesome, smarticle girl." I said, grinning deviously at G. She grinned back.

"Well who is she? And why is she threatening Bella?" Edward glared at me.

"She's my partner in crime. I've officially replaced you all because you guys are boring and I wanted someone to help me prank people. So she came all the way from La Push to assist me in making your life hell." I smiled cutely at him.

"La Push? But she's a vampire. The wolves would have run her off their land." Edward pointed out, turning to look at G.

"Well, actually, Seth the wolf imprinted on me, so none of them are allowed to hurt me. In fact, even if I wasn't his imprint, they would still keep me because I'm super awesome and they all love me." G explained sincerely.

"Yeah. She is super awesome." I added.

"Oh, and the wolves are part of our new pranking organization. They're currently holding dear Bella hostage. And there's nothing you can do about it." G and I both grinned sweetly at him, and he groaned.

"I'm going to kill you for this, Emmett."

_So how do you like? We'll follow Emmett and his new BFF on their adventure some more once I get 5 reviews *smiles cutely* _

_Peace, love, magic._

_GWTWTNME_


	2. Chapter 2: A Twist of Magic

_Good news for you! I got five reviews!_

_I hope you enjoy this next chapter._

G and I got into my Jeep, shoving Edward into the back seat. He didn't really object; he just wanted us to bring him to Bella. We drove slowly (for a vampire) towards the reservation, Edward grumbling angrily in the back seat.

"So, Edward," I began conversationally. He glared back in the rear view mirror. "I was thinking back to when, you know, G pinned your arms behind your back… and I was wondering how exactly she managed to sneak up on you. Because I need to learn how."

G giggled, and I looked at her. "Whoa!" I exclaimed, looking at her now longer black hair. "How'd you do that?"

"Have you ever read _Harry Potter?_ Metamorphmagus? Ever heard of them? I'd be one of them." She grinned at Edward. "Shall I tell him or do you want to?" She added, smile widening.

Edward sighed in resignation. "Go ahead."

"Since I'm a Metamorphmagus I can change my brain to be like Bella's, and since he can't read her mind he can't read mine either."

"Ha!" I hollered, grinning. "Can you teach me to be a metamorph… morph… Orpheus thing?"

"Metamorphmagus. Unfortunately, no. It's something you're born with. But I _can_ help you to become an Animagus." G smirked at Edward who was banging his head against the seat.

"What's that?" I asked, staring at her in awe. So many big words. Whoa.

"It's someone who can transform into only one other creature, whereas Metamorphmagi can change anything on their body to whatever they want." G said, putting her hand up for a fist bump.

I smacked my fist to her, then turned to smirk at Edward too. "Suck that, little bro. I'll turn into Bella and you will be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your eternal life."

G and I laughed evilly (we'd practiced this a lot beforehand) and I pressed the accelerator to the floor. Now that Edward was good and taunted, I was ready for The Plan to begin.

_So anyway, hope you liked this little filler chapter. Sorry for the slow updating, I've got a lot on my plate. Someone close to me recently died and its rough writing a comedy when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and never wake up. I just ruined all the comedy, didn't I? Ignore me. _

_Hope you enjoyed the new chapter, and please review as I will not be updating till I get five more reviews._


	3. Chapter 3: Putting Words into Action

_Chapter three, baby! At last! Hope you like._

Finally we reached the treaty line, right where we were supposed to meet the wolves. As we pulled to a stop the wolves emerged from the woods. At the back of the pack were Jacob and Nessie, who were standing in front of who I assumed was Bella. She was trying to get around the two but they were doing their best to restrain her.

G, Edward, and I got out of my jeep. Edward tried to run toward Bella, but G grabbed him as the wolves growled and she hissed, "watch it, bub. One false move and you could lose a limb."

Edward glared at me in alarm, but I shrugged and said, "sorry bro; she's my master and I must obey her."

"Good Emmett!" G grinned, sticking her tongue out at Eddie and patting my arm (since she couldn't reach the top of my head without effort). Then she handed him off to me and walked over to a tan wolf who I supposed was Seth.

"Hey, babe," she said to him, kissing his head between his ears, "we're ready to put the plan into action. Bella will be fine with me for the time being. Remember; don't think about it until you're a few miles away."

Seth licked her cheek affectionately, then dashed away with the rest of the pack in tow. Only Nessie and Bella remained.

G grabbed Bella from Nessie, then Nessie ran off after the pack. Bella rolled her eyes at us but allowed herself to be marched over.

"So Bella, how've you been? No more buns in the oven? That's too bad. You and Eddie produced some wonderfully evil brains. Your little Nessie came up with tons of elements to our Master Plan. You two should be very proud."

"Well she'll be grounded for life as soon as this is over; I can tell you that," Bella muttered. G laughed like it was a joke.

Once the two reached us we let Bella and Eddie hug briefly (but NO KISSING), then we separated the two again.

"Listen up," I said loudly, feeling like a super evil and powerful mob boss or something equally awesome (like a football or a dolphin), "Now G and I are going to take you somewhere. I don't want any fighting or resistance, are we clear? Bella, I believe Jacob and Ness have already given you a brief rundown of the stakes? Good, good. Feel free to share with Eddiekins at any point. Would the both of you please get into the jeep now? Thank you."

The two glared at me angrily before climbing into my jeep. Before G and I did as well I turned to her and excitedly mouthed, "THIS IS AWESOME!"

She grinned happily back and answered silently, "Just wait; this is only the beginning."

-x-x-x-x-x-

_I believe you all have my new hamster Val (as in Valary, wife of M Shadows who sings in my favorite band, Avenged Sevenfold) to thank for this chapter; her squeaking kept me up long enough to finish. Read and review; next update after 5 reviews._

_Peace, love, magic,_

_~G_

_Ps. Anyone like A Very Potter Musical? Did you like my reference?_


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